I'm paying some of my tuition tommorow. Fuck.
I made the mistake of downloading lots of cute love songs on my computer. I thought I could make a happy cd featuring all of these adorable 50's esque girl songs, but I was wrong. Then I made matters worse by adding "The Luckiest" by Ben Folds. Bad news. Now when I drive in my car I just want to curl up into a little ball and cry.
I decided that I can't decide. I don't feel angry, but I want to punch him. I miss him, but I'm glad he's gone. It's really confusing. I feel like I've been wronged, like he was lying to me the whole time. I love him a whole bunch and I hope he finds a nice girl who will treat him better than I did. I'm still in love with him, it's true.
I don't believe in soul mates anymore. Still, I sometimes find myself daydreaming about the perfect person for me. I wonder what they'll look like, what types of books they like to read, maybe even what they were like as a child. I know there are a number of people out there that would compliment me wonderfully, I just wish they would find me because right now I'm in no shape to be looking.
So, if you're out there and reading this, show yourself. We can go on picnics right by the bay and I know about secret beaches that we could play on. Maybe we could drive around in your car after midnight out to the the lake in the pouring rain just to watch the lighting over the water. We could just sit in my livingroom watching cheesy horror movies. It doesn't take much to make me happy.